I have not written much lately because there’s not much to update on Chris condition per se. My mom has been in town for the summer and it’s been the greatest help with full time childcare as she watches Gabriel for me on the long summer break. I also took her to see Chris after her arrival and it was a very emotional time for my mom. She always loved Chris so much and in a way, she has such a hard time accepting his condition. The encounter was emotional filled with tears for her, and Chris as usual was very expressive at seeing us. Gabriel refused to go and I let him stay behind at the pool with his friends.

Gabriel does not want to go to the hospital but continues to surprise me with the way he thinks of Chris and his imaginary “reality” surrounding Chris’ condition. Couple of days ago, I told him that very soon grandma would go back to Korea and then, it would be again just mommy taking care of him. Gabriel then said: “Maybe daddy will be better by then and can help you take care of me”. It’s so upsetting for me and I am always unsure how to address this on-going hope/ wish Gabriel has that his dad will out of the blue get better to become normal and part of his life. I can also sense how Gabriel craves a father figure, he goes nuts around guys.

Regarding Chris’ care, I am currently in the process of hiring someone to provide weekly massages for Chris. My focus has shifted towards trying to make Chris as comfortable as possible on his condition (as opposed to chasing the cure/ healing that I have done in the first 3 years following his injury).

But what has prompted my post today is that I got some great news to share: Chris, Gabriel and I have today been granted the right to permanently reside in this country. This is a big relief for me as it means Chris’ free healthcare in the UK is now permanent – as opposed to attached to my employment. With the financial crisis of the last 18 months, I had worries about job security and the possibility of being forced to leave the UK in case of job redundancies. This is now behind all of us and I just wanted to share the news.

I hope everyone is enjoying the summer. I am taking advantage of my mom’s free baby sitting and for the first time in a long time doing everything I can to have an active social life by making new friends in London. I did not think it would have been possible to ever say this, but I am happy and feeling very excited again about the future. I know this is what Chris would have wanted not only for me but also for all those that he loves.

Thanks for all those who still continue to check this blog.

With love,

Koo