Tuesday April 21, 2009 marked the 4th anniversary of Chris’ tragic and fatal anoxic brain injury that changed forever the way in which Chris would live the rest of his life. Every anniversary I posted a detailed milestones progress report but this year, for the first time, I do not have such diligent report, primarily because there has been no major progress on his condition.

Exactly a year ago, Chris returned from his second stem cell treatment received at Beike in Hangzhou China and despite intensive therapies following his injections of umbilical stem cell, we were not able to see any changes at all.

Chris is healthy nonetheless and I know he is the recipient of the best care available in the world for someone in his state at this juncture post brain injury. The extensive care he receives from his current hospital (daily PT, OT, SALT) is complemented by privately hired additional PT work, daily one-on-one carer, vitamins & supplements, and RMNS.

Four years are long enough to change people lives’ upside down. During this time I have witnessed many of our friends and family go through life changing events: people got married, lost loved ones, had children, moved homes & jobs, they simply lived life with all the good and bad things that we all face. In the meantime, Chris remained in a wheelchair/ hospital bed. Four years. I feel such immense sadness for this irreplaceable loss and I always will. There is not a single day I do not think of him. Yet I also have such happy moments, with our beautiful son Gabriel who is the centre of my life, with my friends & family, with my career, with every single opportunity put in front of me. I am thankful for every moment, for every person in my life, for everything I have been blessed with.

As expected, there is less and less people coming to see Chris, visits are more infrequent and spaced out– and this irregularity applies to myself for my own reasons, many of which are of practical nature and some of which are emotionally founded. I also understand why this is and I am not angry anymore.

I apologize for the lack of updates – basically it means there is not much to update on. With this blog, I meant to share Chris recovery with friends & family around the world, and I meant to put as much as useful and helpful information for the brain injury community. The blog also was therapeutic to release so much of my emotions, and to feel less alone in a difficult journey. Now, my acute pain and despair has subsided, the remaining treatment options have narrowed, the progress has stalled.

Gabriel has grown to this absolutely beautiful, feisty, sweet boy whom I simply adore without end. He alone fulfils me in ways I never thought possible and he makes me explode in happiness. He is my best companion. Every day I pray for Gabriel’s continued health and happiness. Every night I end the day reminding him that Chris loved/ loves him more than anything in the whole wide world.

With love,

Koo