Chris will be experimenting with some new things following his private PT recommendations (soft palm protector splints for his hands, attempts at re-introducing side lying postures, and daily modified prone lying posture (on tummy) to enable mobilization of the shoulders and trunk. Actually on 22/5 the team from Northwick Park saw Chris and administered botox injections to muscles around the left shoulder (pectoralis major and latissimus dorsi).

On the SALT front, Trudi his private SALT will see him weekly for the next 6 weeks to implement the program and monitor the team/ people involved.

Today’s visit was a short one. Chris was happy at seeing us – but I was not. It’s been increasingly difficult emotionally to get myself going for these visits. It is just too painful to see him like that – and I just do not want to see him like that… just a shadow of what he used to be, seating on the wheelchair, often drooling, with his arms completely disfigured, without any significant progress in a very long time. I was even more upset today because I found him seating on wet diapers – God knows for how long. Our weekend hospital visits are just this constant reminder of an endless nightmare, just this unbearable pain in my heart every time I see Chris in what I now am coming to accept as his new reality.

Anyway, last weekend Gabriel, my parents and I left the UK to attend a wedding. Upon our return to the UK, the immigrations officers have determined that my mom and dad are required to leave the country by June 9, 2008 as they have been spending too much time in the UK. I knew this time would come because legally they do not have the right to stay here for more than 6 months at a time in any 12 months period. I do not believe they will be allowed to come back until sometime in 2009. They are heart broken and sick worried about all of us – but especially Gabriel.

So… as of next weekend I will be left alone to juggle a full time job, Gabriel’s care, and all domestic matters – and Chris. I am afraid I will not be able to visit him with the same frequency although I am used to taking care of most of his needs effectively via email and phone.

I could completely freak out at the prospect of being without my parents, but I think back to that first year after Chris’ accident when it was so much worse, much more painful, chaotic and devastating. If anyone can survive that, whatever is ahead of us should be a piece of cake in comparison.

I think we will be fine. At least, I will make sure Gabriel will always always be perfectly happy because that is actually by far the biggest priority in my life – and I am sure Chris would have agreed.