I told Chris today though that it comes December, I will spend every weekend and all Christmas holidays with him until January.

What happened to this promise to Chris? I am sorry-I have been following your story for over a year and I am shocked at your change of attitude lately. Yes, it is normal for you to go through periods of depression. But your poor husband is going through alot worse than you. I am sure he feels totally deserted. You and your parents were always going to see him a while back. He was getting better. Now, you hardly see him at all. And I am sure your feelings transfer over to him.
You wonder why Chris has not seemed as responsive or happy lately. Could it be because he can sense that you have given up and resent the fact that you are "put out" by having to visit him?? You know, do you think Chris likes being like this?? I honestly think that Chris is aware of so much more than we all know. I think you ARE being selfish. I do not believe Chris would leave you alone if the situation were reversed.

I too am a regular reader of Koo's blog. My daughter suffered a traumatic brain injury in 2005, which is how I became familiar with this blog. I am one of the lucky ones, whose child recovered completely, against all odds. But I also know how it is to have a very sick loved one and am amazed at the strength Koo has displayed thus far, against all odds. No one has the right to second guess her decisions, at all. She is young, obviously talented and completely devoted to her husband and her son (not to mention her parents). She needs everyone's support, not their criticism. No one knows what Chris knows, or feels, for sure. If he is as cognizant as you seem to think, and the wonderful person that his wife knows him to be, he would want her to have as happy a life as possible and would never deny her anything. If she needs to spend Christmas as she has, then she should. Koo deserves everyone's understanding and encouragement. Happy Holidays, Koo and family.

Koo,

You are wonderful and supportive. I do know Chris and he would want you to do anything that makes you happy. If working gave you peace of mind, then you made the right decision. You, Chris and Gabriel are always in my prayers. Merry Christman and Happy New Year.

Heather

Debby,

You don't know Koo or Chris. This blog was originally set up by Koo so that his friends and family could follow the developments from wherever we were. We all read it to track his progress but also to track the progress of a very close friend, Koo. She has gone above and beyond the average human being to do everything she can emotionally, financially and physically for Chris. She has also maintained a grueling work schedule to finance his recovery and her son's life. It is unfair and selfish of you to criticize her so harshly in such a public way.

Audrey

I know of Chris through this blog-that is correct. I know only what I read.
I do understand more than you think. I have read each and every one of Koo's blogs from page one. I HAVE seen her being supportive to being cold, to being depressed, to being hopeful again. Just like everyone who reads here. And I do think that each and every one of her emotions is justified. It would NOT be normal for her to NOT have negative and depressed thoughts. And it is not so much that I am critizing her as it is, I am expressing my feelings of what I read from her writings. It saddens me to read it. And I am happy when she is so positive and upbeat.
Just because I never met Chris or Koo, does not mean I do not feel some of their pain.
But it does seem to me that when Koo and her parents were going to see Chris alot, there seemed to be "marked" improvement(from her posts). And it does sadden me to think of him sitting there alone day after day wondering where his family is. And someone else said that we do not know what he is aware of-true to a point. But I do firmly believe that Chris was aware that Koo was there and I also believe that he recognized her as his wife.
I agree that she has done alot for him-and that she does deserve a break sometimes. But I also try to put myself in his place. And I actually was sort of-in 1986, I also suffered a cardiac arrest. I was on life support for 2 weeks and in a coma for 6 weeks. While I was in a coma, I kept having this dream(I thought it was a dream) that I was tied down in this bed. I could see the doctors and nurses outside of my room. I could not figure out why I was being tied down and though that some how I was being held captive. After I came out of the coma, I was transferred to a different hospital. After I was finally released(2 months later), I went back to the original hospital. I was shocked to see that what I thought was a dream had been real. The hospital setting and the bed and the nurses station were all exactly like what I had "dreamed." So I had been aware subconsciously of my surrounding and heard the talking.
I guess my point is, yes, we never know what a person's awareness is-so I tend to think of Chris knowing more than we think(just from my own personal experience).
My opinion is that(and I am not saying that I am prefect or totally right), that pulling away from Chris is going to help him. It will be easier and easier for it to be done until he is totally alone.
Well, I am sorry if I offended anyone-but when you post your inner most thoughts for the world to see, then you have to expect different reactions.

I have a strong opinion on this... It is insensitive, rude, and tacky to judge and comment on people and there situations- whether or not they are posted online. No one knows what the next person is going through and we should have some compassion. Documentation and blogs do not even come half as close to living it. Not many things can compare to this type of injury and the frustration and struggle of the caregiver. It deeply aggravates me when people act like they know what it's like. It is SO DIFFICULT and you simply can't read a blog and know exactly the rollercoaster of a life someone has that is dealing with this from words. It's like we learned in grammar school- "If you can't say something nice, then just don't say it." Let's have compassion on each other and quit weighing each other down with criticism- ESPECIALLY if you've never experienced 2-3 years of life with this type of injury. I encourage Koo to do what SHE feels is right in HER situation. Unless you are in HER situation then you don't have an educated opinion.

I would like for everyone to think of this - how many of us are stressed by our "normal" lives, paying the bills, getting the kids to school on time, elderly parents, etc. I don't know about you all but there are times that are rough for me and I have a very healthy husband to help me with all of this. So imagine the ordinary stresses of daily life coupled with Koo's extreme extra burdens. It's amazing that she does as well as she does and I personally think it's perfectly normal that she she has her ups and downs.

Hello Koo,

so sorry i have not been in touch for a while and that I have never posted anything before but I was in complete shock when I read this comment. How dare this person Judge you? I am in your shoe, my partner was in a terrible accident 2 years ago and is now servely brain damaged. It is so hard and dificult to find that strength to continue loving and giving.

You have truely been an inspiration and a devoted wife, mother and daughter to all your family.

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