Today, on the one-year anniversary of Chris’ injury, my parents (who arrived yesterday) went to see Chris for the first time. My childhood friend Aurora also arrived yesterday from Brazil, so Chris got a lot of people visiting today.

We all arrived in the room to find wonderful sweet Ann treating Chris with Reiki and Cranio Sacral Therapy. It was an emotional encounter because we were all crying so much, this is only the third time in my entire life that I see my mom cry and she cried out such a painful cry. I know too well the heartache at seeing Chris like that…

The only time Chris smiled was when I greeted him and told him the things I usually do… but no recognition of anyone else, although he looked around and tracked, the usual stuff, in all honesty, nothing new from last week, last month, beginning of the year. There has been no progress in a while and I need to be honest about it with everyone, especially with myself.

My mom, Aurora and I massaged Chris all over his limbs after he fell asleep – that’s when he relaxes everything… My mom took massage classes before arriving in London and says she will fix his arms with daily massages… I am not sure about fixing them, but I am sure it will help someway…

It would be an understatement to say that I am relieved at my parents’ arrival. It means so much to me, not only for practical day to day stuff (i.e. free and unlimited babysitting, all and every domestic and financial errand, unsolicited health advise, TLC) but also because the timing could not have been better… it has been horribly devastating, sad and hard the lonely trips on weekends to spend long hours, just Gabriel and I, witnessing Chris so frail, without any progress week after week after week. It is hard not to get discouraged.

The horror of today’s significance goes beyond my personal and/or our families’ pain and suffering. Yes, we are all bleeding and suffering the loss of the Chris we knew and loved. The loss however is secondary, because the real horror is Chris living between a wheelchair and a bed in the last 365 days, enduring all he has been enduring.

I think about it 24/7. I do not want to incorporate this as a new reality. I will not accept this situation – NEVER. This is not how our lives will be. This is not how Chris will be, and yes indeed, I am in a rush because every second of the day, it is a second Chris is sitting or lying immobile in a hospital.

1 year, 365 days, 8736 hours. Can anyone phantom? I see it daily and still can not grasp it. Chris MUST get better. There is no other alternative, is there?